90 Seconds to be Inspired

My sister-in-law is a travel agent. Apparently most people say the best part of a vacation is the time between when it’s booked and when it begins. Anticipation is exciting. Delayed gratification is the definition of joy.

I experienced this firsthand this week as I was finally able to attend the inaugural Unreasonable Hospitality summit in Nashville. It was led by Will Guidara (former co-owner of Eleven Madison Park) and his team.

I read the book of the same name about a year ago and it quickly became a favorite. I’ve written about it here and here.

When I saw they were doing a summit in Nashville, I knew I had to be there. The ticket price was steep but as my coach says, “You don’t ask for a discount for Lasik surgery.”  Meaning if something is worth it, we pay the price.

I waited the long three months between ticket purchase and summit, and made note of a few goals:

1. Make one lifelong friend

2. Make three viable business connections

3. Take away something actionable to apply to my work

And of course, the first day they asked us to set intentions so I had a chance to write it down and really commit to it:

Here’s how it went…

We got assigned to a table that we stayed at for the entire two days. I loved the intentionality of this choice. I got lucky. Table 42 was awesome. I immediately connected with the person next to me and when I told them my goal of making a lifelong friend, they said “dibs.” How perfect is this response??!!

Goal #1 achieved.

Goal #2 was achieved slowly and authentically throughout the week, and goal #3 was so far overachieved, I’m abandoning my standard newsletter structure to talk about it!

Read on, my friends, for a deep dive into making people feel so good, you could call it unreasonable.

90 Seconds to Learn 180 Seconds to Learn & Connect

I do offsites and leadership development for a living, so naturally, I had unreasonably high expectations for this event (ok, I’m going to stop now). Here are some quotes that taught me something, and some stories to make them sticky for you.

How you serve the thing you serve is just as important as what you serve.

Service and hospitality are not the same thing. Service is the thing you do, hospitality is the way you make people feel.

We mapped every touchpoint our customers have with us and marked them as green (excellent), blue (neutral), and red (bad). This audit gave us the ability to lean into how to sustain the blues, and make the blues and reds, greens. They talked about dropping the check as being a not great part of the dining experience. And how dropping it with a bottle of bourbon and glasses sent a completely different message to the table. You’re free to stay a little longer, linger, you can leave on your own terms…a little upgrade, but a transformative feeling.

Be gracious at the end. 

The UH team talked about their ritual of doing a “last lineup” on someone’s last day of service where they shared memories of that person. Joyful and celebratory.

It reminded me a bit of the mantra I share with my team and clients, “Once you’re in my nest, you’re in my nest for life… I may have to push you out so you can fly, but you can always come back here. I will keep track of you.” 

For a period of time I gave everyone I had to let go a bottle of champagne to celebrate the impact they made and signal the celebration of the next chapter for them. I ran into one of those individuals a few weeks ago on the streets in NYC. They stopped me and said, “Joy - you probably don’t remember me, but you fired me a few years ago.”

Yikes. Possibly the worst reason to be recognized on the street!

But then he said, “You gave me a bottle of champagne! You were so gracious. I’ll never forget how you made me feel.”

Wow. Treat people with graciousness and respect at all touch-points. 

Excellence and fun are not mutually exclusive

If you’re playing a game, you’ll want to win, so you’ll practice more.

 The team talked about playing a game of who could clear the most tables each night. I loved this example. They made something mundane, fun and competitive, and as a result, got better.

I’d love to hear how you are combining fun and excellence into your team or company!

Believe in the power of making things mandatory.

What gets talked about gets thought about. 

Will referenced the “daily huddle” as the most important event of the day. So naturally it was mandatory. And he prepared hard for it. He shared that “As a leader, one of your responsibilities is to inspire.” His other tips for these meetings were to: 

1. Be organized and prepared

2. Set the tone. Be the energy!

3. Tell stories

4. Repetition matters

5. Make it collaborative

This feels like a simple yet perfect checklist for any leader looking to amp up their team meetings. Remember, it’s not just what you serve, it’s how you serve it. I have a hunch most of us could do a little more here.

Find your ‘isms

Cult is short for culture.

An ‘ism” is a simple, abridged way to communicate that something matters. It’s short, succinct and memorable. Will talked about one of his “DBC” which stood for the “deep breathing club” - it was a quick way for the staff to pay attention to each other and notice when someone needed to calm down. It was a shorthand way to say, “I see you’re stressed, take a beat, I’m here for you.”

My friend John participated in my ScaleU program to create his ‘isms: one of my favorites is:

Here’s an example of how John treated me like a “rigatoni”. Since moving to South Carolina, my husband has grappled with the complete absence of professional sports teams and the relative obsession people have with Clemson. Of course about two days into being a Southerner, my oldest decided she loved Clemson. Every day we’d see a bumper sticker or orange-clad person she’d yell, “Dad, look, Clemson!” and he’d reply, “Boo, we hate Clemson!” It was an inside joke that I mentioned to John when we first met. Imagine my surprise when a week later I received a box in the mail with matching Clemson pajamas for both my kids. I was overwhelmed. I laughed out loud, hard. He had listened, remembered, and made the effort to do this for me. It blew my mind. This was the definition of unreasonable hospitality.

Life gives us so many opportunities to make people feel great. Go do it. 

I could go on and on, but I will pause there. I loved every second of this experience and it’s one I’ll never forget because of the hospitality I experienced by the UH team, table 42, and the city of Nashville. You can watch Will’s TedTalk here to get more of the magic.

I can’t wait for next year. 

Let the delayed gratification begin.

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My company, ScaleJOY, has delivered quality experiences to hundreds of clients and has grown solely by word of mouth referrals. Spread the joy by sharing this newsletter, or connect them directly to me for leadership development, coaching, or offsite facilitation. Thank you for your continued support!