90 Seconds to Be Inspired

Icebreakers are the worst. Last week I facilitated an offsite for two executive teams who have a lot of dependencies between their organizations, and their trust bank had fallen into the negatives. Our mission was to start to rebuild trust and align on their joint strategy. Oh, and they were very skeptical about the likelihood of us achieving this… Nothing like a good challenge to keep you sharp!!

I wanted to create an opening activity which would allow vulnerability but not make them feel exposed so early in the day. So, to strike that balance, here was the opening question:

What’s the least interesting thing about you?

I shared mine. I’m a chaotic dishwasher loader. No rhyme or reason to my silverware placement. Some up, some down, no regard for like utensils being grouped together. Complete chaos.

Some people laughed and many were horrified. 

They partnered up and shared their least interesting thing. Then their partner had to introduce them to the group and share what they learned. Friends, it worked!

People were laughing and, dare I say, connecting! As each person was introduced we found commonality in the mundane and also realized how truly bizarre and interesting we are as humans.

If you’re finding yourself “getting right to business”, especially on Zoom or Teams calls. Take a minute next time for connection before content.

90 Seconds to Learn a Little

A few weeks ago, I co-hosted a dinner in Charleston, bringing together an incredible group, most of whom I’d never met before—not to talk about achievements, but to share ideas and build real connections. Our theme was ‘Community.’ 

Early in the evening, someone shared a powerful insight: 

‘Networking is leading with accomplishments. Connection is leading with brokenness.’ 

That moment shifted the conversation. What started as a gathering of strangers became something deeper—a space where people felt seen, heard, and truly connected. 

It left me wondering: How often do we miss out on real connection because we’re too focused on presenting the ‘right’ version of ourselves? What would change if we led with honesty instead?

“Hi, my name is Joy. I am a chaotic dishwasher loader who collects humans, resulting in thousands of loose connections but not enough deep connections. Now that I’ve lived in Charleston for three years, I’m intentionally looking to build long lasting, deep friendships which will take effort. This is challenging given my work and travel schedule but ‘only hard things are worth doing’, right?”

We gave everyone a copy of the book Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. It’s one of my absolute favorites on leadership, and it was a token of thanks to this sweet small town. Since moving here, I’ve experienced Southern Hospitality. To a jaded New Yorker, so much kindness, generosity, and goodness was so unexpected it felt unreasonable! If you’re more of a video person than a bookworm, check out the episode of The Bear “Forks” which pays homage to Guidara. 

As a leader, as a parent, as a spouse, as a human, this book reminds us to “give people more than they expect” whether that means sharing your brokenness, your uninteresting parts, and in my opinion, being present, being vulnerable, holding space, and listening. Let’s all work together so that becomes the norm.

90 Seconds to Connect

I chatted with a mom friend about community and connection and she said, “I want naptime friends - friends who you can show up in sweats and take a nap on their couch.” I love this. Connection isn’t just about depth, it’s about being able to be real and express your needs, and sometimes, we just need a good nap! There’s something unreasonably hospitable about the luxury of napping at a friends house!

Friends, I nearly fell off my chair when I saw that Guidara is holding an Unreasonable Hospitality summit in Nashville! I am going to try to go, let me know if you plan to! Tickets go on sale 2/12! I haven’t been to that city since my bachelorette party in 2014! Time to go back sans the ‘cowboy hat with veil’ combo.

My experiment of telling you where I’m traveling so I can meet up with people in person is working! So I’m going to keep going. Here’s where I’m headed over the next month:

• NYC 2/19-2/20

• Greenville, SC & Asheville, NC 3/4 - 3/7

• NYC 3/12 - 3/14 (Kicking off Wendy Road cohort 2!)

• Las Vegas for Transform 3/17 - 3/20

I’d love to see you in person, drop me a line!

Help me expand my inner circle

My company, ScaleJOY, has delivered quality experiences to hundreds of clients and has grown solely by word of mouth referrals. Spread the joy by sharing this newsletter, or connect them directly to me for leadership development, coaching, or offsite facilitation. Thank you for your continued support!